did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
