margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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