it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
