Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
