Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
