No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize