I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
