So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize