he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize