Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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