carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
