Pappa wants mamma naked
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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