He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize