Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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