He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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