we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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