shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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