don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Randomize
