If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
