So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
