Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have tasted many bathrooms
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
