hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Your penis caused this!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
