the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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