Plan B is the new Plan A
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i dont even know how to be here
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
