whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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