why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
a search helicopter?!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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