I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
