It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
