We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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