Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
