The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
we're so committed to being not committed
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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