...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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