half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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