her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
