I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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