I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
