She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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