I want to make a zoo with you.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I could fuck to npr.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
