Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize