we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize