Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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