Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
