Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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