Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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