Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
