I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
