sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
