I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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