her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
