we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
