Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize