The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
