What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
