I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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