Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
