I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
