i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
