8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
