Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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