Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize