Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
