Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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