I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
