Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I cockslap morals
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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