In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
