Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
