Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize